As Like To Nothingness

It’s a foggy morning.  Grey and drizzly.  Not unusual weather for us.  But on my walk this morning the fog held my attention.  

Fog moves in and changes everything.  The colors of the water, sky, and land all fade to grey. The land and air become as one in the fog.  Even the light of the sun is blocked out.

Fog seeps and slides along channels, and fills valleys.  It unfolds over the tops of mountains and slides down the mountainsides like a carpet being rolled out.  

Or it drops suddenly from overhead.  As the cloud ceiling falls lower and lower toward ground the inclination is to hunch down in a last, vain attempt to see. 

Fog. Water vapor.  “As like to nothingness,” a friend of mine once said. And yet so powerful as to make even the mountains disappear. 

I walked along the water’s edge this morning, very familiar with my surroundings. I know precisely where land ends, and sea begins.  Where the air and water meet.  I know where the other islands lay, and where mountains stand.  I know this place well.  But this morning I couldn’t see any of it.  This morning, instead of walking my familiar path, I walked along the ends of the Earth.  Surrounded by, and breathing in, the very thing which kept me isolated.   

Fog makes it difficult to get my bearings.  Even when I know where I am.  Even when I am very familiar with the path that I’m on.  When I can’t see any of the sign posts it’s easy to lose my way. Even sound gets distorted in the fog. Further disorienting and confusing.

Fog is really nothing.  Nothing of significance.  Yet its results are notable.  The sun still exists.  It still gives off light and warmth.  But the nothingness of fog, water vapor, changes everything.  Making things appear different from how they really are.  From how I know them to be.

And isn’t this also how fear works?  Fear is nothingness.  Fear cannot DO anything.  But it functions in a way that prevents me from seeing clearly.  Where does the land end and the water begin?  Where do Earth and sky meet?  Which way am I to go?

Fear moves in and changes everything.  It seeps in along valleys and grows its way along low areas. Innuendo.  Concern.  Gossip. It spirals its way along easy paths. Moving freely, engulfing everything in its way.   

Sometimes the ceiling drops suddenly without warning.  An unforeseen loss of employment.  A bad health report.  Violence. Catastrophic and crippling fear.  Leaving us hunched over trying desperately to see.

Fear has the power to block out everything.  It prevents joy, and robs us of peace.  It gets between us and all of the blessings which surround us.  It affects our relationships, and changes every aspect of our lives.  Even when we know where we are.  Even when we are very familiar with the path we are on.  Fear moves in and surrounds us.  Winding its way along channels, and low areas.  Unfolding over mountains.  And suddenly we are surrounded by, and breathing in, the very thing which isolates us.  

As I walked my path this morning I marveled at how differently everything appeared from how I know it to be.  The fog didn’t change where I was.  It didn’t change the very spot where the land meets the sea.  Nor did it have power over where the Earth and the air meet. The islands that I know to be still existed.  And the mountains still stood.  Fog hasn’t the power to actually change anything.  

Fog. As like to nothingness.  Has only the power to affect how I see what surrounds me.  

And fear. Fear is nothingness.  Fear cannot DO anything.  It hasn’t the power to eliminate the mountains.  Nor to change where land meets sea.  Fear is a deceiver.  It confuses and shrouds.  It convinces us that we are seeing that which does not exist, and at the same time makes even mountains disappear.  Fear distorts what is.  But it hasn’t the power to change what is. 

Like fog, fear isolates us.  It moves in and surrounds.  It changes the appearance of what is.  It confuses and distorts.  Making it difficult for us to get our bearings.  

As I was finishing my walk this morning a single ray of sunlight broke through the fog off to my left.  I stopped and watched with anticipation, knowing that the fog was slowly starting to clear.   A brighter spot here.  Higher visibility there.  I watched, as what I know to be true of my surroundings was slowly being restored to normal.  

My friend was right about the fog.  It exists, as like to nothingness.