Our daughter Emma, age 11 at the time, had signed our whole family up to serve dinner at the homeless shelter downtown. It was after church while Geoff and I were visiting with people that Emma saw the sign-up sheet in the fellowship hall. There had been an announcement about it during the service.
“Hey Mom, can we do the dinner for people at the homeless shelter?” she’d asked me eagerly.
I said, “I guess so,” and asked her to find out what dates they needed help.
She had returned with a couple possible dates, and together we picked one for a month away. I was pleased that she was so eager to serve dinner to people who were hungry.
A month later on Sunday morning we were notified at church that it was our evening to serve, and who to contact if we had any questions. It was mid-summer so the population of people in town needing to be fed would be higher than at other times of the year because of our transient population. If we needed any help preparing a meal for 100 people there were a couple folks we could call to help us. Oh and by the way, only people 18 and older were allowed to help in the kitchen at the shelter.
Emma was disappointed. Here she’d been the one to sign us up, and now she couldn’t even go with to help. Martha and Ben, 11 and 13 respectively, were also disappointed as they had been excited to help. Anna, 15, had to work that evening so she said she wouldn’t have been able to help even if she had been old enough.
Geoff and I couldn’t both go to the shelter as someone had to stay home and keep an eye on the younger kids in our home, ages 10, 4 and 2. That left us with only one adult to cook and serve 100 hungry people. And of our kids only Kathryn, newly 18, was qualified to help us.
“What?” she complained loudly when we brought it to her attention. “I’m not gonna go serve dinner to a bunch of homeless people. They scare me. Emma signed up. Make her do it.”
We explained that none of the other kids could help because according to the rules at the shelter they weren’t old enough.
“Well that’s not fair,” she argued. “Then she shouldn’t have signed us up. She can’t go obligating me to do things because she wants to. No, I’m not gonna do it. I don’t want to. I do other things.”
And she does. She helps out with church youth group. She has tutored kids in the schools. She’s helped at preschools. And has volunteered countless hours coaching soccer for younger kids over the years. She has certainly done her part.
We reiterated that we were in a bind. That we would both love to do it, and were disappointed that the other kids couldn’t help us. But we needed her help today. She could either help serve at the homeless shelter, or stay home and watch the younger kids so that we could both go help with dinner at the shelter.
“But I had plans this evening,” she argued back. “And I don’t want to stay home watching the kids.”
We waited silently. Giving her a few minutes to adjust.
“I don’t like those kind of people. They come into the store sometimes, and they steal stuff. They’re dirty. They smell bad. They scare me. And I don’t feel like going downtown and being around them.”
We understood. Then we gave our speech about how people with mental illness and drug addictions are just as precious in God’s eyes as we are. We assured her that it would be a safe environment. Dad would be there, too. And other people would be there to help.
“I know all that, Mom. I just don’t want to do it. Okay?” she said, rising to go get changed. To go serve dinner to homeless people downtown.
She left with Geoff a little later. Still unhappy. Still blaming Emma for this inconvenience.
Throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening I hoped that things were going well at the shelter. It was disappointing that Emma and the other kids weren’t able to help. And we both felt bad that Kathryn had been obligated to go. I whispered a couple of small prayers asking God to help this to be a good experience for Kathryn. That it would be an enriching experience. Something she could grow from.
As I was finishing the dinner dishes I heard the car pull into the driveway.
“That was so cool,” Kathryn announced, bursting through the front door.
“Really?” I asked, not quite sure if she was being sarcastic.
“Really,” she confirmed. “Mom, there were like 120 people there. Karen and Carrie from church were there to help us, so we didn’t have to know how to do everything. We made a HUGE dinner. And the people were lining up out front. They have to sign up to do some kind of chore around there before dinner, so people were coming in and helping us.”
“And how were they?” I asked.
“Okay,” she said thoughtfully. “I mean, there were a couple who were kinda sketchy. I wouldn’t have wanted to run into them by myself someplace. But they were okay there. Very appreciative. They kept thanking us, and saying how good everything was.”
I couldn’t help smiling as I listened to her. Recognizing that this had been a good experience for Kathryn. An enriching experience.
“Oh, and Mom, this girl came in. She was like my age. I’d seen her before. And she had this baby. And all the baby had on was one of those little onesies. And it’s cold and rainy outside today. She looked kinda embarrassed to see me there. Probably because I was like her age. Anyway, I told Dad I had to leave for a second, because I’d seen really cute baby blankets at Anna’s store the other day when I went to pick her up from work. So I ran up to Anna’s store and bought one of those blankets. And gave it to the girl.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“I mean, Mom, it’s cold out today. The weather’s been terrible. There’s no way that baby wasn’t cold. So, anyway I handed it to her and said that my little foster sister has one just like it and loves it and that this was an extra one. I didn’t want her to know I bought it for her. She looked at me for a second and then she took it and smiled and thanked me.”
I said, “Good job,” and caught Geoff’s eye. He was looking at me, nodding. I told her I was proud of her. Then I asked her if she was glad she had gone.
She smiled. Actually, I don’t think she had stopped smiling since she’d walked in the front door.
“Yeah. That was pretty cool. I totally want our family to do that again. Can we sign up again?”
I said that we would. Then she took off up the stairs to find Emma and the other kids and tell them all about the homeless shelter.
And I sat there smiling. Acknowledging our Creator God who can use all things. Even the eagerness of younger siblings, and enormous inconveniences. To create in us what God sees that we need. To enrich our lives. And help us to grow.
penniesonmypath 